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Stairway in rooming house, Washington, D.C.: photo by Carl Mydans, September 1935 (U.S. Resettlement Administration / Farm Security Administration Collection, Library of Congress)
Age 6: A boy finds a penny on the playground. He says he’ll give it to me if I go in a closet, take off all my clothes, and let him look. My sister says, “Don’t,” but I do it, anyway.
Age 21: My mother calls me a “harlot,” “Jezebel,” and “strumpet” after I stay out all night with my boyfriend. I roll my eyes and say, “If we’re going to have this conversation, at least update your vocabulary. The word is ‘slut.’”
Age 16: A teacher tells me to kneel in the girls’ bathroom. Am I supposed to pray for forgiveness? I get sent home from school because my skirt doesn’t touch the floor.
Age 27: I walk down the aisle in an off-white satin dress. It’s snowing, and the next day I lose my voice.
Age 21: My mother calls me a “harlot,” “Jezebel,” and “strumpet” after I stay out all night with my boyfriend. I roll my eyes and say, “If we’re going to have this conversation, at least update your vocabulary. The word is ‘slut.’”
Age 16: A teacher tells me to kneel in the girls’ bathroom. Am I supposed to pray for forgiveness? I get sent home from school because my skirt doesn’t touch the floor.
Age 27: I walk down the aisle in an off-white satin dress. It’s snowing, and the next day I lose my voice.
The Spiral Staircase, directed by Robert Siodmak, 1946: screenshot from film trailer by wondersinthedark, 2008
Age 20: I have sex with three different men in one week. I write their names on my calendar in wisteria-blue ink.
Age 10: At recess I tell Tommy Faircloth I’m going to be a stripper when I grow up. Tommy tattles to the teacher, who scolds him and says I’m a good girl. I would never say a terrible thing like that.
Age 32: A man at my college reunion tells me a lot of other girls in our class were sluttier than I was. I feel like a failure.
Age 23: I fall in love with a Vietnam vet who plays guitar and writes bad poetry. I sleep with him on the first date. He dumps me for a frumpy girl who waits until the second date.
Age 10: At recess I tell Tommy Faircloth I’m going to be a stripper when I grow up. Tommy tattles to the teacher, who scolds him and says I’m a good girl. I would never say a terrible thing like that.
Age 32: A man at my college reunion tells me a lot of other girls in our class were sluttier than I was. I feel like a failure.
Age 23: I fall in love with a Vietnam vet who plays guitar and writes bad poetry. I sleep with him on the first date. He dumps me for a frumpy girl who waits until the second date.
The Spiral Staircase, directed by Robert Siodmak, 1946: screenshot from film trailer by wondersinthedark, 2008
Age 9: I’m walking down the sidewalk wearing short-shorts, and a teenage boy leans out a car window and yells, “Call me when you’re 16!”
Age 30: I buy a bar of Saints and Sinners soap in New Orleans. My husband says it’s a rip-off.
Age 18: I get drunk at a party and lose my virginity. The next morning hot water runs down my thighs in a stream of silver and blood.
Age 5: I’m afraid of dogs, strangers, and the dark. Shadows cast by tree branches and leaves on the bedroom wall look like the devil’s face. Do I hear footsteps in the stairwell? I’m afraid I‘ll die in my sleep. I know I’m going to Hell.
Stairway in rooming house, Washington, D.C.: photo by Carl Mydans, September 1935 (U.S. Resettlement Administration / Farm Security Administration Collection, Library of Congress)
Beth Copeland: My Life as a Slut from Transcendental Telemarketer, BlazeVOX 2012
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